It's a Start
by Dareru
Summary: What happens before they confess their love for each other? Shounen ai, citrus.


IT'S A START  
  
By Dareru (furidashi@hotmail.com)  
  
Disclaimer: I am not the owner of Digimon, just a slightly crazy (obsessed) author who likes placing the characters in situations that Saban would never, ever think of. Not profiting financially from this at all. Promise.  
  
If yaoi (boy luvs boy) disturbs you, please go somewhere else, or just read the first paragraph only. And, yes, I know the setting is a little bit clich‚d. Oh, well. I'm allowed to do that once in a while. ^_^  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Stray leaves skittered across the grass as a cool breeze swept over the landscape. What few bushes there were rustled gently, swaying with the wind. The smoldering embers of a campfire still gave off comforting heat to the seven figures sleeping close by. Beside the seven figures lay their companions and protectors, always by their side. Now and then a cloud lazily drifted past the bright, yellow moon, obscuring its light temporarily before lumbering onward. The stars twinkled above the children, watching them sleep, assuring them that somewhere lay their homes, reminding them of the tasks they still had ahead of them.  
  
A lone figure sat brooding on a large rock overlooking the seaside. He paused for a moment, watching his breath escape his mouth and turn into ghostly wisps of steam, getting caught on the wind and carried to who knows where, then, casting his eyes over the wide expanse of the sea, allowed his mind to wander once again...  
  
Of late, all of his musings had centered around one person.  
  
He shook his head and decided not to dwell on it, for now. Reaching down, he picked up a rock and skimmed it over the choppy surface, watching it bounce once before slipping under the waves. Another faint gust of wind caused Yamato to shudder, and he drew his arms around himself, in a vain effort to keep warm.  
  
Beneath the water, a handful of fish darted about, then scattered as Yamato's gloved hand invaded their territory. He splashed some of the water on his face, trying to stay awake for at least a little while longer. His reflection stared back at him from the mirrorlike surface, intriguing him, so he lay down and watched it.  
  
'Look at me,' he thought. 'I've changed so much since we got here...'  
  
'Maybe too much.'  
  
He was barely old enough to grasp the concept of love, but it had grabbed him by the neck and shook him every time he woke up, every time he was around...  
  
'Tai.'  
  
The one word kept racing through his mind.  
  
'Tai.'  
  
'Is it normal for me to like my best friend? We fight so much...How is it possible that I could be in love with him?'  
  
But he already knew the answer.  
  
'But how can I tell him? What would everyone else think? Should I risk having this thing blow up in my face...should I risk having this destroy the group, just because we're in love?'  
  
His brow furrowed, and his reflection returned the same puzzled expression back at him. It was a foregone conclusion that the both of them had, at the very least, a kind of fascination with each other. Anyone could, and everyone did, see the furtive glances they traded with one another, or the sudden gleam in their eyes when the other was mentioned. And yet, they still fought almost daily, though the verbal sparring never came to blows anymore.   
  
'Why did I have to fall in love with him? It's bad enough we're out here fighting for our lives daily, and I have to watch over Takeru...now I'm in love with Tai...'  
  
A tear slipped from his eyes.  
  
'I'm just so confused...'  
  
He sniffed, running his gloved hand over his eyes.  
  
But instead of crying, his hand closed around the harmonica always in his pocket. He inspected the instrument, blowing gently on the holes to clean them of lint and dirt. Then he brought it to his lips and played.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Tai couldn't sleep.   
  
It was one thing to be restless - his brain simply refused to take a rest. His mind kept drifting, settling first on one thing, then another.   
  
Naturally, he had planned the group's itinerary from the moment they got up until the moment they went to bed, carefully mapping their steps mentally and drawing up battle plans should they encounter trouble.  
  
Then he reflected on home, and exactly how much he missed every little thing back in the real world, even soccer practice, and his mom's infamous veggie glop.  
  
All of a sudden, Tai could hear a blues riff carried on the breeze, a harmonica...  
  
'That must be Matt. What's he doing up so late?'  
  
Tai propped himself up on one arm, trying to find the source of the music. His eyes wandered, noting the empty sleeping bag next to him.  
  
'I might as well get up...not like I'm going to sleep at all anyway...'  
  
Silently, Tai tiptoed to the edge of the campsite, avoiding bodies, sleeping bags, and the odd laptop. He shivered in the cold night air, walking around to try and warm up. After a quick search, he spotted the blond boy sitting on a rock near the edge of the shore, the harmonica to his lips.  
  
Tai sighed to himself and sat with his back to a sand dune, listening to the music. Now it had changed to a ballad, a slow tune. It was almost as if Matt was filling the night with his love, and Tai basked in it.  
  
'Wow. I never knew what a good player Matt was...'  
  
Even with the great distance between them, Tai could picture Matt's face. He imagined the sapphire blue eyes, ones that could be sparkling brightly with laughter or cold with anger, the same ones that he saw sneaking a peek at him once in a great while. He saw Matt's highly kissable lips, and mentally formed them into the words that he so desperately wanted to hear...  
  
' "Tai...I love you..." '  
  
He blushed furiously, a twinge of sadness tempering his fantasy.  
  
'As if he would ever say those words to me.'  
  
He was pretty sure that Matt had feelings for him too, but...  
  
Tai shook his head.   
  
'Even if Matt did like me, what would it do to everyone else? How would I tell Kari that her big brother's in love with his best friend? How would everyone react? Would they kick us out?'  
  
Mechanically, Tai got up and stared at his friend, the object of his love, the person who held the key to his heart.  
  
'If I don't do this now, I'll never find the right moment to...'  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Matt sighed as he finished his song and brought the harmonica away from his mouth. Every time he played that ballad, he thought of Tai, and when he thought of Tai, he choked up...  
  
"Matt?"  
  
The voice came from behind him, and he swiveled around to see who it belonged to.  
  
"T-Tai?" He cleared his throat. "I didn't hear you come up behind me."  
  
"I couldn't sleep, knowing you were out here all by yourself." He paused. "Are you...crying?"  
  
Matt sniffed, and tried to turn away. "No...I just...got some water..." He trailed off, the excuse dying as they both realized how hollow it was.  
  
"It's okay if you are, Matt."  
  
"No!" He suddenly regretted shouting at Tai. "No...I'm fine. I'm sorry...just...I get a little emotional when I play."  
  
Tai sat down next to him. "You know, Matt...you're really good."  
  
Matt blushed. "Thanks..."  
  
Both of them paused, unsure as to how to continue. Finally, Matt gathered up enough courage to say what was on his mind.  
  
"You know, Tai, I noticed that you've been watching me a lot...and...I know I have been doing the same to you..."  
  
Tai looked up at him.  
  
"And...I..." He faltered, looking away. "I know that sometimes we fight a lot, and then we avoid each other for a while..."   
  
Now the moment was lost, and Matt knew he couldn't tell Tai how he really felt about him. Tai's heart sank a bit as he, too, realized that they wouldn't be confessing their love for each other quite yet...  
  
"...but, uhm..." Matt was turning redder by the second. "I...just...thought...you know...that..." He cleared his throat.   
  
"I care about you, Tai, even though I don't always show it. You mean a lot to me, you know...you're more than just a friend."  
  
There was another awkward pause as both of them weighed his words.   
  
'Not quite an "I love you," ' thought Tai, 'but it's a start...now I know for sure that he has feelings for me, too...'  
  
Tai flashed a smile at Matt and gently squeezed his hand. "I care about you a lot too, Matt...I don't know what I'd do without you."  
  
He let go and the two of them were content to stare out over the flat expanse of the sea before Tai spoke again.  
  
"Hey, Matt?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Do you think you could play one more song?"  
  
Matt grinned down at Tai. "For you, anything."  
  
He closed his eyes and placed the instrument to his mouth, filling the air with the harmonica's soulful music. Tai climbed up on to the rock and sat opposite Matt, watching his every nuance as he played. He felt his eyelids growing heavy as the song continued...  
  
Matt was interrupted as a shock of brown hair rubbed against his face and a head slumped onto his shoulder. He stopped playing and nudged the sleeping head with his shoulder. "Hey...hey, Tai...wake up!"  
  
Tai blinked and sat up straight. "Oh...oh, man...I'm sorry, Matt!"  
  
Matt glared at him with mock anger. "Hey, now, you request a song and then you fall asleep in the middle of it! What a lousy gig." He snickered. "Come on, sleepyhead, let's go back to camp."  
  
Matt put his arm around Tai and together they walked back into camp.  
  
'Oh well...there's always tomorrow night...'  
  
THE END  
  
  



End file.
